After the Election: Grief, Solidarity, and Moving Ahead Together
Hi all. I'm sending each one of you love, something that we are going to need.
Sorry I'm weighing in a little late after the election. I had to take a moment and catch my breath. Donald J. Trump will be president again--this time surrounded by sycophants and power-mad billionaires. This time with enormous legal immunity. This time perhaps controlling all three branches of government (numbers are still coming in for the House.) This time as perhaps the most powerful president in history. This time with a roadmap, Project 2025. (For a more in-depth analysis on Project 2025.)
I am sad. I am angry. I'm so sorry that we are at this moment. It's a painful one… We have let so many down: women, teachers, the elderly, those who bravely called out Trump’s crimes, immigrants seeking asylum, union members, folks enrolled with the Affordable Care Act, people of color, LBGTQ folks, our children, and middle and working class Americans. We let down our beautiful planet, our public lands, and our fellow creatures. The only true winners with a Trump presidency are suckups, oligarchs, and global despots.
In a piece for The Nation, American liberal political commentator Elie Mystal wrote, “America deserves everything it is about to get. We had a chance to stand united against fascism, authoritarianism, racism, and bigotry, but we did not. We had a chance to create a better world for not just ourselves but our sisters and brothers in at least some of the communities most vulnerable to unchecked white rule, but we did not.” Neoconservative political commentator Bill Kristol wrote in The Bulwark, “The American people have made a disastrous choice. And they have done so decisively, and with their eyes wide open…After everything—after his chaotic presidency, after January 6th, after the last year in which the mask was increasingly off, and no attempt was made to hide the extremism of the agenda or the ugliness of the appeal—the American people liked what they saw. At a minimum, they were willing to accept what they saw.”
There are reasons for Trump winning the White House in spite of the fact that he led an insurrection, sexually abused women, and has been convicted on 34 felony counts. We are living in the murk of misinformation; failing media; an uninformed population; the myth of the endangered white male; Silicon Valley culture; and the crushing racism that fuels Great Replacement Theory. Americans have become more anti-science, ill-informed, angry, bigoted, and reactionary. The outrageous has become the normal, this ushering in another Trump presidency.
Rebecca Solnit in her Nov 7 Guardian piece wrote, “A democracy requires an informed citizenry, and the US media over the past eight years in particular created an increasingly misinformed citizenry.” She continues, journalists “constantly treated asymmetrical issues as symmetrical ones – if the Democrats resisted Republican outrages, both sides were ‘polarized’... Social media arose like a school of sharks in the information pool and began to devour the economic base of the news industry, to undermine the filtration systems that had limited the spread of hate, lies, misinformation and disinformation. But to talk about it as an information pool is to underestimate how much it has changed consciousness itself, how addictive and how distorting it is, how it manipulates values and emotions and beliefs.”
Of course there are other reasons for Trump’s win besides anger, admiration of authoritarianism, and rampant lies. Some Americans just felt that both candidates were inadequate. Some withheld votes over deep anguish in watching the US funded violence in Gaza. Some thought the Dems were too “woke” and fumed over DEI initiatives. Some voters were motivated by feeling ever more squeezed at the grocery store and gas station. Some were motivated by a US border they consider insecure. Some could never support a woman for president, especially a Black woman. Some apparently feared an onslaught of trans athletes competing in women’s sports.
There are other reasons as well, such as folks feeling ignored or let down by Democrats. Democrats have come to rely primarily on East and West coast voters to remain in power. They have ceased to invest in or build relationships with those of us in “flyover states.” As a result, Democrats are not trusted in large swaths of the United States. And they are losing races.
I understand this collective rage right now (I really, really do), but I also want to be able to consider what happened without the bite of anger. Kareem Adbul-Jabbar, in his post-election Substack, advised a show of grace towards fellow Americans. He writes we must trust that “in their hearts they still want a compassionate America that embraces all of its people and protects their rights.” To get through our next chapter we are going to have to show that grace. We will need to come together as family, community, and coalitions. We are going to need a chorus of diverse voices from artists, writers, visionaries, warriors, conservationists, planners, activists, architects for the future, and compassionate politicians to navigate our now. We are going to need clear thinking, love, and one another. Blame will not serve us…
There are two Substack newsletters that have helped me get grounded after a horrible couple of days. I highly recommend subscribing to them both. First is the brilliant Anne Helen Petersen’s post-election Culture Study:
“This morning, I woke up the way you wake up after a bad breakup, or a tragedy, or a death. I hadn’t cried, but I felt like I had for hours. Dogs don’t know about how much America hates women, so I still had to walk them. I saw one of the island kids riding his bike to school, a shark helmet over his magenta mohawk, singing to himself as he weaved back and forth across the road. The school bus came up behind him, slowed, and waited patiently as he completed the quarter-mile to school. The morning light was perfect and the air was crisp and I felt a wave of relief pour over me: the world was still beautiful and kind, and four years would pass, as it passed before, and maybe they’d fuck things up so badly that no one would vote for a Republican again in our lifetimes.
But then I kept walking. There was a dead vole in the middle of the street, its guts strewn out, pink and glistening, the dogs pulling towards it. Further down the road, a loose German Shepherd darted into the road, and I knew I had to turn around. A guy I know voted for Trump drove by in his truck, and I felt nauseous at the thought of his eyes on me. The sky clouded over, and now it’s gray and flat and endless. Our world is beautiful and kind, and it is also indifferent and cruel.”
The second is the fabulous Garrett Bucks’ White Pages:
“I’m also not going to spend a lot of time pointing out everybody who is at fault for the fact that we’re in this spot… So if that’s what I’m not going to do, what am I going to do? I’m going to love the hell out of you. All of you. I’m going to love you all the time, but especially when you’re at your most vulnerable. I’m going to believe, with all my heart, that you deserve so much more than the mess we’ve inherited. You deserve to be safe. You deserve to feel loved and respected. You deserve to not be taken advantage of– by bosses, by loved ones, by strangers, by systems. You deserve to not have a gun pointed at your face or a bomb targeted at your house. You deserve to have a job that you love that offers you dignity and a decent wage. You deserve to not be broke and to eat good food and live in a dignified dwelling and go to school and the hospital without paying a bill. If you have kids, you deserve to have those kids on your terms, and to receive help (both from your community and your government) in ensuring that those kids grow up enveloped in love and belief in their potential. You deserve a union. You deserve a neighborhood. You deserve to feel loved and seen. You deserve an actual democracy, in every sense of the word. You deserve a planet to live on.”
These thoughts have gotten me through the last week. So I’ll close here with some suggested ideas as well as the words of Zen Buddhist teacher and psychotherapist Seth Zuiho Segall. “The bodhisattva path is not dependent on good times. It’s the same in easy times and dark times alike: show up, pay attention, and do whatever is necessary to take care of the things that fall within our purview.”
How to show up, pay attention, and do what is necessary:
Grieve, but don’t despair. Find joy. I just joined a story-telling/improv group and look forward to laughter and new skills. I also find enormous happiness in dogs, family, reading (right now All That She Carried, by Tiya Miles, Hotel on the Corner of Bitter and Sweet, by Jamie Ford, and American Scary, by Jeremy Dauber), hiking, skiing, sitting down with beloved pals, chatting with my husband, and of course, writing stories.
Build community with like-minded and happy warriors. I’m so lucky to be part of Torrey House Press; WildEarth Guardians; joyful circles of brilliant and engaged women friends; my bawdy gym buddies; Borzoi dogs rescue folks; and many of the people who have shared stories with me over the years. Reach out to your people and connect. These bonds matter.
My genius friend, Angelina Gonzalez-Allez, has put together a bunch of resources for activists. Here is one that is REALLY GOOD–please take a look: 10 ways to be prepared and grounded now that Trump has won.
Join organizations fighting for good, like: Garrett Buck’s Barnraiser Project as they march towards collective liberation; Torrey House Press as they elevate voices and conversations on culture, environment, and justice; WildEarth Guardians as they protect and restore the wildlife, wild places, wild rivers, and the health of the American West. I also think Warm Cookies for the Revolution is an amazing model for civic engagement. Watch their incredible short film and get inspired.
Already, we are seeing awful racial harassment just a few days after Trump won. Black middle schoolers, men and women, received text messages instructing them to “report to plantations.” It’s another example of Trump both normalizing and inspiring racism. We need to be ready to stand with marginalized communities—and by we, I mean all of us, no matter what candidate we supported.
Support libraries and independent bookstores–these are the front lines on the assault over books, free speech, and diverse voices.
Support teachers. Take care of them. They’ll need our help in pushing back against the onslaught of right wing attacks on public education.
Stand with women. Advocate for reproductive rights and bodily autonomy. And read Pam Houston’s extraordinary Without Exception.
Remember: “Every crisis, actual or impending, needs to be viewed as an opportunity to bring about profound changes in our society. Going beyond protest organizing, visionary organizing begins by creating images and stories of the future that help us imagine and create alternatives to the existing system.” (Grace Lee Boggs)
Pace yourself–you can’t do everything. Rest. Dream of a better world then roll up your sleeves.
Love you all, Betsy